Start with the reader effect, not the suffix
Evidence handover · Lessons 1, 4 and 5
Open your unedited Lesson 1 note, Lesson 4 brief, Lesson 5 discussion and their reader or listener records. If unavailable, use the original fictional library packet and the sample lines below.
Select one phrase that helped organise the story and one exact line that changed a reader’s or listener’s understanding.
- Quote the whole line and nearby clause. State the intended event, actor, source and degree of certainty.
- Record the meaning a reader actually recovered. Mark missing feedback as untested rather than agreement.
- Keep zero nominalisations as valid evidence if the first note used none; do not edit the baseline.
Choose the evidence needed before calling a nominalisation a problem.
1. A reader takes “the visibility improvement” as a measured result. What should be checked first?
Three repairs to the same library claim
Repair conference · Original fictional classroom script
Draft A: “The staff’s relocatement of the book-swap shelf showed the library’s rescue.” The writer meant that staff moved one shelf after a basement leak. A reader correctly guessed the move but treated rescue as an established outcome. The noun relocatement is not the conventional English form; relocation is.
Draft B: “The implementation of the relocation and the subsequent volunteer participation produced a visibility improvement.” A listener could not say who moved the shelf, who carried boxes or whether anyone measured attention. All the long nouns made the relationship among actions harder to recover.
Draft C: “The notice documented the temporary relocation of the book-swap shelf to the foyer. Mara later said that she and two other volunteers carried fourteen boxes after staff requested help. She thought more people noticed the shelf, but no visitor count or borrowing figure was supplied.” This version retains relocation as a useful topic, restores people in clauses and keeps the reported impression separate from measurement.
Match each observation to the first repair question it raises.
F Is the English derived form conventional?
A Can the reader recover the actor and action?
E Does the source support the implied result?
D Would fewer noun layers improve spoken or written recovery?
1. “relocatement” appears where the event noun is needed.
2. “the implementation of the relocation” leaves the mover unidentified.
3. “the library’s rescue” turns the article’s framing into fact.
4. A listener loses the sequence inside “subsequent volunteer participation”.
Separate formation from information load
Repair in layers
| Layer | Diagnostic question | Smallest useful repair |
|---|---|---|
| Evidence and scale | Does the noun imply a completed rescue or measured rise absent from the packet? | Restore the source and limit before polishing form |
| Derivation | Is the English noun conventional for this base and meaning? | Check the family: relocate → relocation; decide → decision; respond → response |
| Agency and attachment | Can the reader name who moved the shelf and who carried boxes? | Add a named actor in a clause or a clear by-phrase |
| Density and prosody | Can the listener follow the sequence when several nouns are stacked? | Keep a useful topic noun; turn one action back into a finite clause |
Complete the noun form that fits each sentence. Then say what evidence would be needed to use the whole claim.
- The notice documented the temporary of the book-swap shelf. RELOCATE
- The notice recorded no about a return date. DECIDE
- Mara’s interview described a volunteer to the request for help. RESPOND
- The notice confirmed the continued of the main library. AVAILABLE
- Mara reported an impression of greater , not a measured rise in borrowing. VISIBLE
Choose the repair that fixes both English form and source status.
1. A draft says “The relocatement led to a documented borrowing increase.” What is the best repair?
2. A sentence says “the rescue of the library” as the writer’s own finding. What should be checked before changing its suffix or adding modifiers?
Prosody · Derived form and thought groups
Read “visible / visibility” and then “the temporary relocation / of the shelf / to the foyer”.
Make the derived noun and the boundaries of its modifiers intelligible to a listener.
- Notice that visibility moves prominence toward the -bil- syllable; rehearse the whole word rather than reading the spelling aloud.
- Pause after relocation and shelf if needed. A listener should still identify what moved and where it went.
- If the phrase remains hard to follow, say “staff moved the shelf to the foyer” and compare recovery.
Repair the first cause of a wrong inference
Correct each line using only claims supported by the fictional packet. The answers are possible repairs.
1. The relocatement of the library saved it. — form and scope
2. The visibility increase was confirmed by the interview. — evidence
3. The implementation of volunteer participation carried fourteen boxes. — agency
4. The return decision was announced on 14 June. — unresolved status
Rewrite each dense line for a formal reader; keep its recoverable facts and compare with the models.
Noun stack → accountable clauses
The post-leak shelf relocation volunteer implementation produced a visibility increase.
Unsupported result noun → attributed framing
The rescue of the town’s library demonstrated community success.
Useful noun retained with nearby actor
The relocation was undertaken following a leak and was followed by volunteer participation.
Run a blind repair trial on your own text
Form refinement · Original, minimal repair, plain control
Choose one consequential line from your Lesson 4 formal brief or Lesson 5 spoken discussion. Use the library model only if your own saved work is unavailable. A partner reads or listens without seeing your labels; alone, record both versions and reconstruct them later without the script.
Test whether the smallest form or density repair lets a new reader recover the same event, actor, source and uncertainty more accurately.
- Minutes 1–3 · locate: quote the original line in context, intended claim and actual reader inference. If no inference was recorded, label the risk untested and collect one now.
- Minutes 4–5 · diagnose: choose the first consequential layer: evidence, conventional form, agency, attachment or density. Confirm a claimed suffix error against a reliable English form from the unit’s family list.
- Minutes 6–8 · prepare A and B: A is a minimal repair that may retain a useful noun; B is a clear-clause control. Keep source, facts, uncertainty and surrounding context identical.
- Minutes 9–12 · blind retest: present A and B in concealed order. The reader states what moved, who acted, what Mara only thought and whether the whole library closed or borrowing rose.
- Minutes 13–14 · decide: keep the version with the more accurate recovery. If both work, prefer the one that better supports the intended comparison without extra decoding.
- Minutes 15–16 · archive: save original, two alternatives, reader maps and one rule for the 440-word Lesson 7 piece. Working alone, mark delayed reconstruction as self-evidence.
Repair ledger · One real line
| Field | Record |
|---|---|
| Original | Exact wording, adjacent clause and intended claim |
| Reader result | Event, actor, source and certainty actually recovered |
| Diagnosis | First consequential layer and observable evidence |
| A / B | Minimal repair and plain control with equal context |
| Retest | Reader’s paraphrase of each version before seeing the labels |
| Decision | Chosen version and a drafting rule for Lesson 7 |
Keep the version the reader can defend
Choose the conclusion licensed by the reader test.
1. The minimal repair and clause control preserve the same facts. Only the clause control makes the actor recoverable. Which belongs in this line?
2. The reader follows “the temporary relocation of the shelf” and can name the staff from the nearby clause. What does that support?
Drafting rule · Carry one tested decision forward
Use your repair ledger and Lesson 1 baseline before drafting the portfolio piece.
Write one sentence about when a noun helped your argument and one about when a clause repaired it.
- Quote a successful whole noun phrase and the reader’s paraphrase.
- Quote the rejected or repaired line and name the changed inference.
- If you suspect cross-language influence, identify repeated English evidence and a testable prediction; otherwise leave the cause open.
Draft with tested information density
Choose the strongest preparation for the 440-word piece.
1. Which plan will best support a defensible formal-academic draft?
Standing informal-input bridge
Finish one academic-journalism essay and one London Review of Books piece. Keep creator, title and paragraph location for one noun phrase in each if present, and note how a nearby clause identifies its actor or source. Use the comparison as a style observation for Lesson 7’s 440-word formal-academic piece, not as evidence for the fictional library claims.