Bring forward the story and the tested repair
Retrieval · Existing work only · 4 minutes
Open the Lesson 4 midpoint narrative, the Lesson 5 beat map and recording, and the accepted A/B seam repair from Lesson 6. Today’s written piece develops that same story.
Convert the Lesson 6 finding into one narrow drafting constraint for the 420-word narrative.
- State the core event line in five finite clauses without looking at a transcript.
- Copy the accepted repair principle, including the listener evidence that supported it.
- Complete: “When ___ carries the narrative weight, I will ___; when ___ is recoverable background, I may ___.”
- Retain the established facts, source limits and permission boundaries. Do not replace the narrative with a new topic.
Plan 420 words by narrative function
A drafting map, not a model answer
| Section | Approximate allocation | Reader’s question | Likely language work |
|---|---|---|---|
| Orientation | 60–70 words | Who is here, what is ordinary, and what matters before the disturbance? | Selective description; one identifying reduced relative if useful |
| Disturbance | 55–65 words | What interrupts the ordinary plan and creates the narrative question? | A finite event with enough sensory or material detail to make the change precise |
| Evidence pressure | 120–135 words | Which sources compete, and why can no responsible conclusion be immediate? | Earlier and simultaneous relations, explicit actors, calibrated attribution |
| Turn | 75–85 words | What discovery reorganises the earlier evidence? | A prominent finite event after compressed background; no buried revelation |
| Consequence and reflection | 75–90 words | What changes, what remains limited, and why does the episode matter? | Procedural precision, retained uncertainty and a non-generic final image or implication |
Match each possible sentence to its primary job in the archive story. Then locate an equivalent job in your own existing narrative.
O Orientation
D Disturbance
E Evidence pressure
T Turn
C Consequence or reflection
1. The volunteers had spent the morning attaching dates to a newly donated set of photographs.
2. Then an envelope marked THURSDAY released a photograph whose background should not have existed on that date.
3. Having checked the closure notice, Mina still could not reconcile the label with Sam’s recollection.
4. Sam mentioned the camera clock. That detail changed the account.
5. The catalogue was corrected, but the record continued to distinguish confirmed events from the donor’s likely explanation.
Give each sentence one dominant burden
Written control across the paragraph
| Control | Question | Useful evidence in the draft |
|---|---|---|
| Finite event line | Can a reader underline the decisions, discoveries and consequences without guessing? | Consequential verbs receive independent clauses and explicit actors |
| Participle range | Do present, past, perfect or passive clauses express relationships the story actually needs? | Forms vary because time, voice and narrative job vary; there is no density quota |
| Reduced relatives | Does each reduction sit beside the noun it identifies or describes? | Defining and supplementary meanings remain distinct through position and punctuation |
| Descriptive precision | Does detail change inference, atmosphere or action? | Concrete nouns and discriminating verbs replace vague intensifiers and decorative synonyms |
| Attribution | Can the reader separate record, recollection, inference and unresolved uncertainty? | Named sources and calibrated reporting frames remain finite when accountability matters |
Choose the sentence that best protects narrative weight and evidence status.
1. Which version gives the clock discovery appropriate weight?
2. Which version keeps source status precise?
Rehearse paragraph movement before drafting
Order these sentence jobs so the paragraph moves from an initial check through competing evidence to a responsible next action.
- State the remaining chronological conflict in a short finite sentence.
- Introduce the envelope label as one source, naming who wrote it only if known.
- End with Mina’s decision to contact Sam again or inspect the camera evidence.
- Open with the completed bridge-record check and its limited result.
- Set Sam’s recollection beside the record without converting memory into proof.
Five-line paragraph map · No full sentences
Map your own evidence-pressure section using one noun-phrase line for each ordered job above.
Protect the paragraph’s movement before choosing compressed forms.
- Add an actor and source tag to every line whose responsibility could become unclear.
- Star the action that must remain finite.
- Mark at most two relationships where compression may help; the draft decides whether to keep them.
Draft the complete 420-word narrative
Unit 38 portfolio rehearsal · Individual writing · 31 minutes
Write the long-form narrative that grows from your Lesson 4 midpoint account, Lesson 5 spoken production and Lesson 6 accepted repair. A reader should experience a developed story while still being able to reconstruct its evidence and event line.
Produce one complete narrative of exactly 420 words, ready for final revision and paired spoken assessment in Lesson 8.
- Minutes 1–4 · architecture: assign approximate word ranges to orientation, disturbance, evidence pressure, turn, and consequence or reflection. Use the beat map from Lesson 5; do not make a new plot.
- Minutes 5–11 · opening and disturbance: draft 115–130 words. Establish the ordinary situation with selective detail, then let a finite event activate the narrative question.
- Minutes 12–20 · evidence pressure: draft 120–135 words. Sequence checks and competing sources, keeping actors and attribution recoverable. Use participle clauses only where their time, voice and logical relation are clear.
- Minutes 21–25 · turn: draft 75–85 words. Give the discovery or decision independent narrative weight; apply the exact Lesson 6 repair principle at its relevant seam.
- Minutes 26–27 · consequence and reflection: complete the account without inventing certainty. End with a concrete action, image or implication that grows from the established evidence.
- Minute 28 · event-line audit: underline every finite main event. Confirm a reader can recover actor, order, turning point and consequence from that line alone.
- Minute 29 · compression audit: box each participle clause and reduced relative. Annotate actor, relative time, voice and narrative job; expand any clause whose relationship is ambiguous.
- Minute 30 · evidence and precision audit: circle every source frame and descriptive word. Remove unsupported certainty, vague intensifiers and details that change no inference, atmosphere or action.
- Minute 31 · word-count audit: reach exactly 420 words without cutting necessary actors, attribution or time anchors. Record the counting convention if your platform treats contractions differently.
Submission record
| Requirement | Evidence to mark |
|---|---|
| Exactly 420 words | Visible count and counting convention recorded |
| Same narrative as Lessons 1–6 | Core facts and turning point align with saved artifacts |
| Recoverable event line | Finite main events underlined with explicit actors |
| Controlled compression | Each boxed form has actor, time, voice and job annotated |
| Reduced relative control | Noun attachment and defining punctuation checked |
| Evidence integrity | Record, recollection, inference and uncertainty distinguished |
| Descriptive precision | Every retained detail changes inference, atmosphere or action |
| Lesson 6 principle | Accepted repair applied and labelled at its local seam |
Spoken handover · Prepare Lesson 8
Read the evidence-pressure paragraph and turning-point paragraph aloud while a listener follows the written event line.
Check that written punctuation and spoken thought groups support the same chronology and narrative weight.
- Mark / after introductory participle clauses and underline the finite verbs carrying the turn.
- Record one continuous reading of the two paragraphs; do not replace the eight-to-ten-minute Lesson 5 performance.
- Ask the listener to identify actor, order, source and turning point. Save the recording and response with the 420-word draft.
Name the revision Lesson 8 needs
Choose the narrowest revision supported by the draft or listener evidence.
1. The reader follows the event line but cannot tell whether the reset was documented or remembered. What comes first?
2. The turning point is buried in a chain of three well-formed participle clauses. What is the best local revision?
3. The piece is 427 words. Which cut is defensible?
Save the Lesson 8 revision brief
Compare the written annotations, spoken handover and listener response.
Record one local written revision and one spoken-performance retest—or state “no repair evidenced” for either mode.
- Cite the exact sentence or time stamp and the reader/listener symptom.
- Write an observable change and the reconstruction result that would count as improvement.
- Keep the first 420-word draft, annotations and recording intact beside any revision.
Carry a complete portfolio draft into assessment
Choose the complete package for Unit 38 Lesson 8.
1. What must remain available for the final spoken and written assessment?
Standing informal-input bridge
Finish the selected long This American Life episode and long-form Atlantic feature. Without copying source wording, record one final observation about how each text moves from compressed background to a finite discovery, decision or consequence. Compare those observations with the relevant seam in your 420-word narrative and choose one testable revision for Lesson 8. Keep the source time stamp or paragraph opening so the comparison remains accountable.