Your six, levelled
Read out your six real requests. Your partner gives each a number and says whether the level matched the person.
Mark the ones where the number was too low. Those are today’s work.
Six ways of telling somebody they should do something. Match each to what it actually means.
Three answers to the same request
A customer asks for a table at eight. Three receptionists answer.
One: No. We are full.
Two: I am afraid we are fully booked at eight. We do have a table at nine fifteen, if that is any use to you?
Three: Right, let me just check for you. — I am really sorry, we have nothing at eight at all. What I can do is put you on the list in case somebody cancels, and I have got nine fifteen if you would rather have something certain.
Four questions about the three refusals. All three say no.
1. What does answer one lack that the others have?
2. I am afraid at the start of answer two — what is it doing?
3. What I can do is… in answer three. Why is that phrase useful?
4. All three refuse. What actually differs?
Three gradients
Gradient one · Asking
| Level | Form |
|---|---|
| Low | Give me… · I want… · Can you…? |
| Standard | Could I …, please? · Could you …, please? |
| Higher | Could I possibly … · Would you mind + -ing · Would it be possible to… |
| Highest | I was wondering whether … · I don’t suppose you could …? |
Gradient two · Telling
| Form | Means | Careful |
|---|---|---|
You must | An order from somebody with authority | Also a strong recommendation: you must try the fish |
You have to | Somebody else’s rule, reported | Neutral, and useful because it is not your rule |
You need to | The standard service instruction | Softer than must, still clear |
You should / ought to | Advice, refusable | Ought to is slightly more formal |
You’d better | A warning. Do it or there are consequences | Never use it to be gentle. It is the opposite |
You might want to | Advice, made almost invisible | The safest thing to say to a client |
The one that catches everybody. had better looks like a soft better and is a threat.
You’d better send that invoice today. — or something unpleasant follows.
You should send that invoice today. — a good idea.
You might want to send that invoice today. — a hint, and nobody is threatened.
And the form is odd: had better plus a bare verb, negative had better not. Never had better to.
Gradient three · Refusing, in three parts
| Part | Phrases |
|---|---|
| Softener | I’m afraid… · Unfortunately… · I’m really sorry, but… |
| Reason | …we’re fully booked · …that’s not something I can authorise · …the system won’t let me |
| Alternative | What I can do is… · I could offer you… · Would it help if…? |
| Buying time first | Let me just check for you · Bear with me one second · Let me see what I can do |
One to five words per gap. Asking, telling and refusing all appear.
— Sorry to bother you. possible to change the date on this booking? — Let me just check for you. — the fourteenth is completely full. is move you to the fifteenth at the same rate. — That would be fine, actually. Is there anything I do at my end? — You send us the reference number by email, and you do it before Friday, because after that the rate changes.
One answer that traps everybody. Would you mind opening the window? literally asks whether it would bother you.
So "No, not at all" means yes, I will.
And "Yes" means no, I would rather not.
In practice English speakers avoid the trap by answering with an action instead: Of course · Sure · Not at all, go ahead. Do the same.
Eight sentences. Some are ungrammatical, some are grammatical and say the wrong thing.
1. You had better to call them today.
2. You’d better bring an umbrella. — said kindly, to a guest
3. Would you mind to wait a moment?
4. — Would you mind opening the window? — Yes. — meaning: of course
5. I want you to refund this.
6. No. We are full.
7. You must to send it by Friday.
8. You should to try the fish.
Saying no
Six lines of a service exchange. Put them into the order that makes a professional refusal.
- Would that be all right, or would you rather hold and I try to catch her now?
- Right. I am really sorry, but I cannot authorise a refund on that order.
- Either way, I will give you a reference number before we hang up.
- Let me just check that for you — bear with me one second.
- What I can do is raise it with my supervisor and get somebody to ring you back today.
- It was delivered more than thirty days ago and the system will not let me open it.
Two to five words per gap. The three-part shape, plus the time-buying opener.
one second while I look. — we do not have anything in that size at the moment. order it for you, and it would be here on Thursday. I could see whether the branch in town has one. me your number and I will ring you either way.
Say no six times
Task card · Speaking · Pairs · 3 minutes each
One of you asks for six impossible things. The other refuses all six, professionally.
Six refusals, each with all three parts, and none of them the word no on its own.
- Asker: a room upgrade, a full refund, a table at eight, next-day delivery, an earlier appointment, a discount.
- Refuser: buy time first, then softener, then reason, then alternative.
- You may not repeat a softener or an alternative phrase.
- Then swap.
One extra rule. The asker must go up a level each time. By the sixth request you should be at I don’t suppose…
From the refusals
Four exchanges from the task. Fix each.
1. No, is not possible.
2. You had better to wait until Monday.
3. Would you mind to hold?
4. I am afraid, but we are full.
Three gradients
Three questions.
1. You’d better call them. What is that?
2. — Would you mind opening the window? — Not at all. What does that mean?
3. What are the three parts of a professional refusal?
Before next lesson. Think of one thing you have genuinely complained about, or should have. Write down what went wrong in three factual sentences, with no blame in them.
No blame. That is harder than it sounds, and next lesson explains why it is worth the effort.